10 ITEMS OR LESS

This week's comedy:
10 ITEMS OR LESS

If you like Morgan Freeman, this film is for you!

This movie revels in all that is Morgan Freeman. It glows with brightly colored Freemanosity. It’s thick with Morganess and punctuated with Freemanitude. Characters are buoyed up with giddy Freemanistics, and are propelled along the film’s arc on the Morgan Freeway of life.

OK, you get the idea. This film has a lot of Morgan Freeman in it. But, that’s actually a good thing. Everybody loves Morgan Freeman, and everybody loves him in this film. And, on top of all that Freemanism, it also stars Paz Vega! You may remember her from such films as Sex and Lucia, and Spanglish. She speaks English in this movie – I didn’t realize she could.

Morgan Freeman plays a character that is ………well, Morgan Freeman. He’s an actor – although he’s never really called by name. He’s referred only as “him” – as in, “Hey! You’re him, aren’t you?” The only effort they’ve (the filmmakers) made to suggest that he isn’t really Morgan Freeman, is that he claims not to have worked for 4 years. That is obviously fiction, because, as we all know, Morgan Freeman has been in every movie during the last four years.

He is researching a role as a store manager for a new movie, and so he spends the day at a grocery store. The exquisitely beautiful Paz Vega plays Scarlet, who works the day at the “10 items or less” express checkout line. At the end of the shift, he doesn’t have a ride home and, for some reason, he can’t remember his telephone number. Scarlet agrees to give him a ride – but she’s got some errands to do first.

Thus begins their afternoon of fun and adventure together.

Morgan Freeman has fun simultaneously celebrating and poking fun at the celebrity lifestyle. His character suggests that he leads a very sheltered lifestyle and thus has a childlike naiveté about the ordinary world. But it’s this naiveté that allows him to cut through the haze that forms over most adults’ worldview, and simplify. He passes celebrity wisdom on to us, and you know what? It makes sense.

The film has this great vibe to it. There’s an energy that’s carried by the salsa music soundtrack (believe me – it works) and a positive feel that’ll make you smile. It has a great look to it. The beautiful Paz Vega is, of course, beautiful. And Morgan Freeman - Mr. Easy Reader ………..Morgan Freeman has become such a fixture in our movie-going experience that he represents a familiarity that is beyond degrees of beauty. That is why I say that this is probably the Morgan Freemanest movie ever made.

I must say that the critics are split on this film. However, as I scan through the comments, I find that the most common fault they have with 10 ITEMS OR LESS is that the characters are “too likable”.

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……..and that’s bad ………..why? Also, that it’s totally unbelievable (“That would never happen like that!). Keep in mind that these are the very same people who gave thumbs up to “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Apparently, fun-loving pirates and ghosts and sea monsters are believable – but an older man and a younger woman striking up a friendship and having a “perfect day”, is not!

Screw the critics! I don’t buy into that. I, and I assume most of you, don’t watch movies with the same clinical eye as most film critics. They, after all, need to always be thinking about what they’re going to write about the film – even as they’re watching it. You almost have to have an innate cynicism to view films (or anything) like that. I, on the other hand, am, and have always been, a die-hard optimist. I smile a lot, I wear rose-colored glasses, I think people are good, and that the world is a beautiful and marvelous place. I can tell what you’re thinking, but no – I do not take a lot of drugs.

I am an optimist and this is what I believe.

1. I believe that if you smile at somebody and they smile back – that’s a good day.
2. It takes very little effort to make someone’s day. I believe there is good Karma in making a strangers day. Karma accumulates and will eventually come back to you someday – so make sure it’s “good” Karma.
3. It is much easier to make a stranger’s day than someone close to you. Strangers expect nothing from you. Try it sometime – it’s easy.
4. I believe that life, anybody's life, can and should have a salsa soundtrack.
5. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
6. OK, let’s not kid ourselves about #5. I was just caught up in the moment.
7. I believe that there will someday be peace in the Middle East. Now maybe #5 isn’t sounding so far-fetched after all.
8. I believe that it will all work out in the end. It may just take us a long time to get to the end.
9. I believe that celebrities are just like us. I believe that if I met Morgan Freeman at a car wash, he would help me wash my car and give me advice on how to pick out a good T-shirt.
10. I believe there are Paz Vega’s working at checkout counters in every Target, Sears, and supermarket in America.

Being an optimist, I could’ve added more – but I was limited to 10 ITEMS OR LESS.

Enjoy.

A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

This week's movie:
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

Most people know that World War I was no walk in the park. A few films even do a decent job of dealing with the horrors of trench warfare. Paths of Glory and All Quiet on the Western Front come to mind. As great as these two movies are, this week’s film is better.

A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT is not really meant to be about the war. It features the war, it graphically depicts the gruesome realities of the war, it even deals with the devastation that the war produced on the loved ones left behind – but it’s not about the war.

It’s about Mathilde. No sooner does Mathilde become engaged, when her fiancé is called off to war. Some time later, she gets word that he has been executed for desertion. However, she feels down in her gut that the reports are wrong and he is still alive. The movie is about her journey to find out exactly what happened to him.

The French military had a policy, during the war, in which they would execute any soldier that was suspected of self-inflicting a wound in order to be excused from combat. They made examples of them – to discourage others from doing the same. Mathilde’s fiancé was supposedly one of five men killed that particular day. Instead of a firing squad, they were simply expelled from their trench and forced into No Man’s Land (the area between the opposing armies) where they could be easily picked off by the enemy.

During her investigation, Mathilde learns the story and fate of each of the five men. She is helped along the way by other women, each with ties to one of the men, who are seeking their own closure. It is a journey of epic proportions as she slowly unravels the mystery of what happened that day.

Mathilde is played by Audrey Tautou, who imbues her character with much the same charm, wit, optimism, and hopeless romanticism that she gave to her character in the film, Amelie. But make no mistake – this is not a comedy! This is a serious film, about a serious matter, and a serious set of events, I’m serious here! There is often a sense of disorientation as the scenes switch from Mathilde’s investigation to flashbacks of her days before the war to the grueling scenes of the war. This is to keep you on your toes and to draw you in and involve you in the story.

It’s not difficult to understand that certain filmmakers have a unique style that identifies all their work. With some, you can tell who made the movie just by looking at it. Certainly, Hitchcock had a recognizable style. Spielberg is pretty recognizable as well. You can surely tell a Coen Brothers (Raising Arizona, Fargo, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?) film a mile away. Others include David Mamet, David Lynch, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Quentin Tarantino, and Spike Jonze & Charlie Kaufman. One of my favorite stylish filmmakers is Jean-Pierre Jeunet. He continually makes films that are both visually stunning and somewhat whimsical (Amelie, Delicatessen, The City of Lost Children). This week’s film is no exception.

I have mentioned this film in the past and I may have already recommended it to a few of you on occasion, but here are a few more reasons why I think you’ll like A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT.

1. Mathilde moves heaven and hell to find the man she loves. You need only visit a video store or click on a NetFlix link to find a movie you’ll love.
2. Though it’s in French, and you hate to read subtitles, you occasionally make an exception. This is that exception – don’t pass it up.
3. If you weren’t in France during WWII, and you were wondering what it was like ……here’s your chance.
4. If you’re getting a little burnt out from realistic war carnage (Saving Private Ryan, Flags of Our Fathers, etc.) don’t worry. There’s not a lot of that here. The story is more about Mathilde and her detective work and the other surviving spouses/girlfriends and the back stories of each of the five soldiers and the events of that day seen from different perspectives and the diverging paths taken by the various parties since then and the conflict between those that want to find out more information and those that want hide information and ……… well, there just isn’t time for more battlefield carnage.
5. The cinematography is as much a character in the film as Mathilde or anyone else. It sets the mood of each scene with color schemes and saturation. It conveys boatloads of information at a single glance. It was recognized for outstanding achievement by the American Society of Cinematographers. Rare, for a foreign film.
6. I liked it. Why not you? What? You think you’re better than me?! You think I can’t tell a good film from bad?!!! You think I can’t appreciate the nuances and complexities of films like Blades of Glory or Delta Farce?!!!!! And you think I’ve gone all artsy and snooty because I call them “films” instead of “movies”?!!!!!!!! Well ………………………I got nothin’.
7. Oh - One of my favorite films MOOO-VIES is Dude, Where's My Car? Now, does that sound artsy to you?
8. So like I said, I liked A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT. Why not you?
9. I can almost guarantee that you won’t be asking for your 2 hours back at the end.
10. Yes, that is Jodie Foster! And yes, that is more of her than you’ve seen in other films MOOO-VIES. …..and speaking French, no less.

A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
A very good mooo-vie.

Enjoy.

THE GIRL IN THE CAFE

This week's love story:
THE GIRL IN THE CAFE

This movie is not a GREAT film. It is not totally original. It is not a realistic portrayal of the human condition. It won’t win any Oscars (although it did win an Emmy!). It won’t gross $200 million at the box office (it didn’t even play in theaters). It doesn’t feature stunning special effects, or art direction or original score. It’s not last year’s Memento.

“So, Frank, why are you recommending it?”

Not all movies need to be earth-shattering, or poignant. They don’t all have to be outstanding in some respect. They don’t even have to play in theaters. Some pretty decent movies are just really really …….nice. You know what I mean? I’m going to start featuring more films that are just fun to watch. They don’t all need to teach you or to inspire you, or to make you laugh all through. They can just be enjoyable and make you feel kinda warm and gushy inside. THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ is such a film.

You may not know him by site, but character actor Bill Nighy is the British answer to Christopher Walken. Why is that, you ask? He's everywhere these days, and he's great no matter what he's in. He has an ability to elevate any scene he’s in. He can redeem a lesser movie just by appearing in it, and he usually plays supporting roles (the aging rocker, Billy Mack, in Love Actually to Davy Jones in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest). This week's movie doesn't need redeeming by a long shot, and it's nice to see Nighy finally play a leading role.

I’ll tell you now. The stuff that happens in this movie would never never never happen in real life. Not in a million years. ……………..but you would want it to. The two people who come together in this story could not be more mismatched – nor could they possibly need each other more than they do. Their relationship is quite improbable, yet it’s also quite inevitable.

Nighy plays Lawrence, a diplomat working in the British Foreign Trade Office. He is reserved. Okay, he’s very very reserved. He’s a middle aged man who has devoted his whole life to his job because he doesn’t have social skill 1. When he meets Gina in a café one day and shares her table, it’s only because the café was crowded and he had no place to sit down to drink his tea. He’s intelligent and thoughtful, but he doesn’t know any social graces. “Don't think because I'm not saying much that I wouldn't like to say a lot.”, he tells her.

Gina is young, not nearly as shy as Lawrence, and is much more world weary than him. They are drawn to one another, but when he invites her to join him at the G8 conference in Reykjavik, will the difference in their political views get in the way? The ending of the movie, although you can visualize a big red arrow pointing to the image on your TV that says, “THIS NEVER HAPPENS!”, is nevertheless beautiful and heartwarming.

THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ won the Emmy Award for outstanding made for TV movie, as well as one for Kelly MacDonald as Gina. MacDonald and Nighy both received Golden Globe nominations for their roles. The writer, Richard Curtis, has a long list of successful, well received romantic comedy screenplays, including: Love Actually, Bridget Jones's Diary, Notting Hill, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ is not the least of these.

So, let’s wrap up. Here are ten reasons why I think you’ll like THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ.

1. Bill Nighy is in it. That, in itself, should be enough reason – but here’s nine more.
2. It’s a feel-good movie which promotes positive social values …….if you like that sort of thing.
3. There’s hope for all of us middle-aged guys.
4. If you liked Lost in Translation, you’ll like this one.
5. If you didn’t like “Lost in Translation”, but you didn’t like it because of Bill Murray’s performance because it wasn’t as outwardly funny as his Ghost Busters role or his Caddyshack role or his Stripes role or his What About Bob? role, or because you just don’t like Bill Murray, you might still like this film – because Bill Murray isn’t in it.
6. If you don’t like it, I’ll owe you.
7. It you don’t like this, I could recommend a nice obtuse example of experimental German expressionism with nihilistic themes shot in black and white with an avant-garde soundtrack and a five hour running length. I’ll bet THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ is looking pretty good right about now.
8. Since it was made for TV, watching the video on your TV would allow you to view it in its intended format. How about that?
9. If I can get fifty people to rent it, NetFlix will give me a $10 rebate on next month’s bill. What? How does that help you? Did I mention Bill Nighy was in it?
10. If you have digital cable, it may already be available “On Demand” for free. This doesn’t help me to get a NetFlix rebate but what’re gonna do?

Get THE GIRL IN THE CAFÉ
And enjoy.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

This week's movie:
SHAUN OF THE DEAD

It’s important to keep a good sense of humor ……..even when you’re dead.

When I was a kid, I used to love scary movies. Monster movies, alien movies, zombie movies, are all best when viewed late late at night. I would sacrifice sleep, on a regular basis, to stay up long after my parents went to bed so that I could be alone – with my monsters. Call me crazy, but I swear that I can attribute my sense of humor to that that old habit. When you’re by yourself, with monsters, if you can’t find it a little funny, you’re going to have nightmares for the next week or so.

Now that I’ve recently become an adult (everything is relative), horror films just don’t hold the same fascination for me. First of all, they’re not all that scary, and second, they take themselves way too seriously. Horror films just aren’t fun any more. That’s why I really like this week’s film, SHAUN OF THE DEAD.

The same group of guys responsible for the current box office hit Hot Fuzz, hit the right mark in 2004 with their funny take on the “walking dead” film genre. First thing to know is that it is NOT just a parody of George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. It’s more of a romantic comedy. It’s not even mainly about the zombies. It’s all about Shaun, and that’s a good thing because Shaun is funny, zombies are not.

Shaun’s friend, Ed, is a real wanker. He's unemployed and sponges off him. Shaun’s girlfriend, Liz, has had it with him, and his lazy attitude. You see, Shaun’s idea of a good time is playing video games and drinking beer down at the Winchester - every night. Liz is leaving him and, blimey! How’s he going to get her back?

When the zombies start showing up, he doesn’t even notice right away, because nothing much changes. Lots of people are the walking dead anyways. Besides, Shaun’s got other stuff on his mind. When he finally does notice, he sees it more as an opportunity to win Liz back than anything else.

The supporting cast includes Bill Nighy, who is terrific in just about everything he’s in; and Penelope Wilton as Shaun’s mother, who is the quintessential British mum. “Mum, you’ve been bit!” “It’s nothing, dearie. I don’t want to be a bother.”

Heard enough? Here’re a few more reasons to see SHAUN OF THE DEAD.

1. It was the funniest comedy of 2004.
2. It may, in fact, be the funniest zombie parody, slacker love story, set in England and co-starring Bill Nighy …. ever made.
3. It’s soooooooo British.
4. Everybody’s got a wanker mate like Ed.
5. It’s been a long week. You don’t want to have to think too hard. You want – no! - you need – no! – you deserve to be amused. Put this disc in the player and it'll do the rest. Consider yourselves amused, and your player will thank you.
6. My player is still thanking me. Just last night I tried to play the newest blockbuster release, whose name I won’t mention – (we’ll just refer to it as “Might at the Nuseum” - which is not a bad movie, but my player has gotten spoiled of late with better). My player said, “How come you don’t let me play any good movies anymore – like that SHAUN OF THE DEAD? C’mon, pleeeeease can we watch that one again, instead of “this” drivel. C’mon, I know you want to. SHAUN , SHAUN, SHAUN, …………….. C’mon, I’ll play you some foreign movies later.”
7. It has all of the prerequisite comedy elements. That is, it has slacker bits, it has zombie humor (?????), it has wanker jokes, it has British jokes (even if you don't get them, you know they're supposed to be funny and you laugh anyway. British humor is more of a comedy of attitude than actual logical jokes), and social, cultural, and media satire. Try to pack any more into a movie, and it will actually be a hazard to one's health.
   
8. It's the cult classic of the decade. If you don't see it, your co-workers will talk about you behind your back - and wouldn't you rather be the talk-"er" and not the talk-"ee"?
   
9. Scores an 89% on the tomatometer. Apparently, most, but not all, film critics have a sense of humor.
10. As of this writing, just squeaks into IMDB Top 250 at #234, between The Lion King and Roman Holiday, and climbing.
    

Most of all, SHAUN OF THE DEAD is exactly what movies should be - a fun time. So .....
Enjoy.

LA BELLE NOISEUSE

This week's movie:
LA BELLE NOISEUSE

Probably the best movie ever about art.

I had a chance to visit Paris several years ago. My wife and I wanted to make the most of our few days there to see as much as possible. We didn't really plan anything ahead of time – we were winging it. On the day before we came home, we wanted to spend the day at The Louvre. But there was just one problem. It was Tuesday, and everybody knows (except me, that is), that The Louvre is CLOSED on Tuesdays! What's that all about? Tuesday is so random, who would've thought? Anyway, we walked along the river bank until we came to a place where artists like to congregate and paint or draw or whatever. I watched one particular artist draw a portrait. I stood behind and watched him over his shoulder as he worked. Before I realized it, I had stood there for more than half an hour. You might think that it must have been boring - but it wasn't! I was totally into it. It was looking at a creative process as it happens. So intent was his concentration that he didn’t notice that I was there.

This movie is a little like that. There is an intimate relation between an artist and his model, and watching this film is like watching over his shoulder without being seen.

I loved this movie. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize I like it. I can tell what the film is about, but it won’t tell you anything about the film. You'd have to watch it to judge for yourself.

I can tell you the plot, at least. A young artist and his girlfriend go to visit his idol, an aging great painter. But he hasn’t painted anything in years. He’s lost his muse. That is, until he meets the man’s young girlfriend. He’s suddenly moved to perhaps finish his masterpiece “La Belle Noiseuse” if she will pose for him. She reluctantly agrees. There are all sorts of complications. The artist’s own wife used to be his favorite model, and now that he has a new model, there’s resentment.

ASIDE: The girlfriend is played by Emmanuelle Béart. Most Americans won't be familiar with her, but she's HUGE in France, and is fairly well known throughout most of the movie-going world. Check out her IMDB page to find more films she's starred in. She's perfectly cast in this role as she exudes sensuality like most people exude sweat - as a natural response to heat.

Anyway, that’s the basic plot of the movie – but what is it about? I’ll try to explain. In order to paint her, he has to know her – everything about her. Every angle of her body, every expression, every nuance of her posture. He places her in one difficult pose after another while he sketches in his notebook. As he does, he engages her in conversation. He's trying to capture something about her that’s not outwardly evident, her soul, and so he needs her to let down her guard. She’s smart, she’s sharp, she’s beautiful – and he gets it all down in his book.

The big gamble in this film – that could have bombed – but instead, paid off, was to allow us, the viewer to watch as the artist draws sketch after sketch. Sometimes the camera lingers over his shoulder for ten minutes or more while the image takes shape, while all you hear is the scratching of his pen. You might think this would be boring – but it’s actually some of the most riveting footage in the movie. All the while the characters barely move, there is verbal banter and psychological dueling between the two main actors.

The only warning I have is that this movie is not for children. It’s not because of the nudity (I find that children don’t have a problem with nudity as much as adults do), and there's no sex, but it is 4 hours long and most children that I know just won’t sit still for that long.

To my male readers:

Unless you intend to watch this film by yourself, or with a bunch of other guys, you’re going to need a whole lot of justification. Why? Because your wife/girlfriend/whatever is going to want to know WHY. Why you are watching a 4 hour movie. Why you are watching a movie in French, about art. Why are you watching a movie in which the beautiful French actress who plays the model is naked for at least 3 of those 4 hours. So yes, you'll have lots of 'splaining to do. So, it helps to memorize 2 or more of the following – just in case it comes up. But don’t respond too quickly or it will sound rehearsed. Instead, look directly into her eyes, make one of those “why do you think?” gestures with your hands, and repeat one of the following.

1. No other film portrays the soul of the artist like this one.
2. This is about “art”. Get your mind out of the gutter!
3. I’ve always loved movies about art – like …….. er …… Pollack? And the DaVinci Code. And the one about that painter guy – what’s his name? Oh, you know......
   
4. FranksFilms said that this was a “must see” film – so, I “must see” it.
5. This film scored a very rare 100% on the tomatometer. I only watch the best.
6. What else would you have me watch? Deuce Bigalow?
7. What? I got this just for you. What would you rather watch? Deuce Bigalow? I think you deserve better.
8. Everybody else at work is watching it. I’ll feel left out if I don’t. ........and yes, if everyone at work jumped off a cliff, I would too!
9. This film is featured in Steven Jay Schneider's book, “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die”. Another month, another movie ………until I’m dead.
10. If you don’t believe me, read film critic, Roger Ebert’s review of LA BELLE NOISEUSE here. You can read his review of Deuce Bigalow here.

That’s all I’ll say. I’m hoping many of you will take a chance on it and that most of you will enjoy.