SECRETARY

Romance of the week:
SECRETARY

I like it in the movies when I see something that I haven’t seen before. I love a good romance as much as the next guy, and I love a good comedy probably more than the next guy, and I certainly enjoy dark humor way way more than the next guy, and the guy next to him combined. When you put them all together, you've got something - you've got SECRETARY.

SECRETARY is not widely known. It never got a wide release. However, it enjoys pretty substantial word-of-mouth promotion. It's probably best known for being the movie in which we discover that Maggie Gyllenhaal is a star! She'd had only small roles up till then and this is her first starring role. She makes good with it.

I suppose I should also mention (because I know you're going to click on the link above and check the movie out at the IMDB site before you decide to watch it, and figure it out anyway) that the other thing this film is noted for, is it's treatment of a dominant/submissive relationship. Now, I know you're probably thinking of all the perverse and obscene and demeaning and degrading and (did I mention?) perverse ways that this could go wrong. It's not like that. I suppose, in other hands, this would be kinky and sexy and perverted, yadda, yadda, yadda. But here it’s not. It’s just …….. interesting. Besides, this is not the main focus of the film.

Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a young woman with a laundry list of emotional difficulties. At the beginning of the film, she is being released from an institution because she has that particular disorder where she likes to cut herself (I did mention this was a comedy, right?). She hurts inside, and if she inflicts a wound she can see on the outside - and watches it heal - then she feels that she is healing on the inside. Now she is out and wants to start a new life. She can type, she can be a secretary.

James Spader plays a lawyer looking for a secretary. In fact he's almost always looking for a secretary. He's not very easy to work for. He's obsessive, he's demanding, he's compulsive, he's loony. He goes through secretaries like warm beer through a man with small bladder disease (?). He keeps a lighted sign outside his office advertising "secretary wanted" that he can light up in exactly the same manner that a motel would advertise vacancies. There’s something not quite right with him. They were obviously made for each other.

Despite some of the controversial themes, the story really is about two emotionally damaged people who come together, help each other cope with life, and then fall in love. It’s smart and funny, well written, well acted, and I think it will ultimately appeal to just about everybody. Here is why this should appeal to you.

1. No animals were harmed during the making of this movie. No animals are in this movie. So if you’re an animal activist, you won’t be offended. I can’t guarantee the same for everyone else.
2. C’mon! No animals harmed! Doesn’t that mean anything to anybody anymore??!!
3. The main characters engage in office behavior that would, today, make you have to attend a special seminar. Nobody wants to have to sit through these seminars. They’re insulting and degrading, and take important and productive time away from work. Unless you want to go to these seminars, you had better watch this movie.
4. It has a happy ending. For a while you’ll think that there’s no way there could be a happy ending – but you’ll be wrong.
5. Forget what I wrote in #4. I’ve decided that I don’t want to give away the ending.
6. In a typical romantic comedy, Two people meet, they like each other, and they fall in love but maybe don’t realize it (or maybe they do – doesn’t matter). One of them has a terrible secret the other can never know, that threatens to tear them apart. The other one finds out. It tears them apart. Then the one with the secret tries and tries and tries to get the other one back and make it up to them. They eventually do. Love conquers all. I would like to tell you that SECRETARY doesn’t fit into that stereotypic Hollywood formula – but I don’t want to give any more of the movie away. Look what I did in #4 for goodness sake!
7. Film critic, Roger Ebert liked it. His review can be seen here.
8. Besides, if you don’t like it, you can always say, “I told you so!” ….. and you know how I hate that.
9. Just in time for Valentine’s Day.
10. Don’t get any ideas around the office ……. Unless you want to have to attend that seminar we talked about.

Enjoy.

THE UP DOCUMENTARIES

Documentaries of the week:
SEVEN UP
SEVEN PLUS 7
14 UP
21 UP
28 UP
35 UP
42 UP
49 UP

The problem with “reality TV” is that there’s nothing real about it. Take some of your most popular shows, like “Survivor”, “The Batchelor”, “Big Brother”, “American Idol”, “The Apprentice”, ”Wife Swap”, “Real World”. If you think about it, these are not real people. Oh, they’re not actors or anything – but you’re certainly NOT seeing anything real. All of the participants are carefully chosen for specific personality traits. All of the situations are artificial and fabricated. You might as well watch movies – like some of the ones on this recommendations site.

If you’re looking for reality, try a few documentaries.

In 1963, film-maker Michael Apted began a documentary series, that was unprecedented and, as yet, unmatched in the history of cinema. He selected 14 children, age 7, from around the London area and interviewed them. The children were chosen from different neighborhoods and from different social and economic backgrounds. He asked each of the children questions about what they thought, on a range of topics from education, their relation with their parents, girlfriends and boyfriends, and the difference between races. The personality differences between them couldn’t have been more dramatic. The documentary was released on British television under the title “SEVEN UP”.

It was meant to be an indictment of the class system in England. He wanted to show that children of wealth and privilege had better education, and thus better prospects than poorer children. He didn’t realize, when he started, that it would turn out to be much much more.

Seven years later, he did a follow-up piece called “SEVEN PLUS 7”, where he found the same set of children from the first film and interviewed them again. The contrast between the children at age 14 and age 7 was astounding. It was here that Apted realized the potential in what he had done. He had illustrated an evolution in the lives of 14 real people. Since then, every 7 years, he's tracked down the same group of now no-longer children to follow up on how they're doing (21 UP, 28 UP, 35 UP and 42 UP). In 2005, the group turned 49 and thus came "49 UP".

There exists a very dedicated cult-like following for these films. Some critics believe that the reason they’re so popular is the same reason that people like “reality TV shows. Most of us have a voyeuristic tendency that makes us undeniably curious about people and their ordinary lives. Celebrities, the people next door, people we don’t even know – it doesn’t matter, inquiring minds want to know.

Now, in the case of these “UP” documentaries, this is an ideal opportunity to satisfy your innate voyeurism. You meet the children at age 7. Every 7 years you get another look at them. You find out what their lives are like, what they’ve been doing, what they think on a variety of topics, what they hope for the future.

But - in the case of these UP DOCUMENTARIES, voyeurism is not enough to explain the fondness for these films. Instead, it’s like running into old classmates of yours every seven years, having drinks, and catching up. There are real connections made to the characters. You find that you really become concerned with them. If they’re not doing well, you genuinely feel bad because you knew them earlier when they were carefree, and you look forward to the next installment to see if they’re happy, or if they’re successful, or not. I simultaneously am looking forward to 56 UP and dreading it because I know, sooner or later, that someone is going to die, and I’m going to have to deal with it. It’s that powerful.

Watching the films in succession, you not only see an evolution in the people, but also an evolution in the times, as you go from 1963 to the present. Times change, and so do the people, and so do you. It’s an evolution of life – it’s the story of all of us. Although most of the participants feel it an intrusion that every 7 years, a film crew comes into their lives to chronical their successes and failures, their widening waistlines and gray hair count and wrinkle count, their loss of their parents and other close family members, the success and failure of marriages, etc. However, most realize the importence and influence that these films have had, and agree to take part. When they do, nothing is held back - you see everything.

I realize that this is a fairly large investment in time. There are seven discs in all, each is approximately 2 hr. It makes it easier if you schedule the viewing over time. Watch them in order, maybe 1 a week, or 1 every two or three weeks, or 1 a month. The older ones may be hard to find. If you have trouble, I can try to help you locate copies. Don’t skip any and start at the beginning. It just works better that way. Here is a list of possible resources.

1. Your local video store. They may not have some of the older films, however the series has recently been rereleased in a box set on DVD. If your store doesn't carry it, you might try requesting it. You can tell them that "... demand for it is about to skyrocket as it has recently been featured on FranksFilms."
   
2. Your local public library. Public and university libraries have become an important source for me for finding films, especially independent or obscure films (like these). Also, if they don't carry it, they can often search other libraries in a huge network and import it in, just for you. It's what taxes are for.
   
3. Amazon. If you feel like purchasing it, it's of course available at Amazon.
   
4. Blockbuster Online. Don't try to find them in your local Blockbuster store, but their on-line service carries it.
   
5. NetFlix: I know they have because that's where I found it. Think of it - you could be watching the very same disc that I watched.
   
6. LoveFilm.com. In the UK, this is a huge source for films.
   
7. Cinesnap - France; Netleih - Germany; BigPond - Australia;.
8. Friends, neighbors, co-workers. Find the avid cinephile from the list of people you know. If they don't know about this series, show them this article. They, of course, will run out and find it - they have their sources. Then , simply beg borrow or steal it from them.
   

You might read this and decide that this sort of thing just wouldn’t interest you. I’m willing to bet real money that after you see it, you’d be wrong. If you watch this instead of "Idol", at least you'd be watching something real.

Note: 49 UP scores a 96% on the tomatometer. Go there to read some of the incredible reviews relating to the whole series.

Enjoy.

LITTLE OTIK

Disturbing children's folk tale of the week:
LITTLE OTIK

I knew that when I started to classify movies (comedy, drama, horror, western, etc.), I was eventually going to run into trouble. Some films just don’t fit into a single category. So ...... you start to combine genres: part drama + part comedy = dramedy; part horror + part comedy = black comedy; etc. Sometimes you get longer combinations, like last week's movie, Kung Fu Hustle - described as a "martial arts -30’s -gangster -action -comedy". Now, would that be a "kung-fu gangedy"? or maybe a "com-martial artsionster"? Or shall we come up with a whole new word, not based on any other description, like "schma"? "Schma" is good, and I don't think it's being used for anything else - and even if it is, so what? "Kung-Fu Hustle? What kind of movie is that?" "Why, it's a delightful schma."

However, ..... I can't even think up an entirely new word to describe LITTLE OTIK.

Where shall I start? Well, working from memory, I debated whether this was a family movie with a lot of dark humor, or if it was a deeply and profoundly disturbing mind f***. After seeing it again recently, I just can't imagine how I could have thought of this, even remotely, as a family movie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very very funny – just in a funny sort of way. You know what, I’m not getting this right – let me start over.

LITTLE OTIK is an allegory for fertility and and of a mother's love. Based on a Czech folk fairy tale, it tells the story of a young couple who are unhappy because they are unable to have children. One day, while digging in the garden, the husband unearths a large root, shaped vaguely like a infant. To ease his wife’s distress, he smoothes and varnishes the root and gives it to her. With a mother’s eyes, she sees not a log, but the baby boy she’s always wanted and takes him (it) in. Through the sheer force of a mother’s love, the root comes alive. She works ceaselessly to satisfy its great hunger. The couple work hard to keep him from danger and to keep him out of trouble as he grows up – but boys will be boys, and soon ...... You know, I’m still not getting this right. Let me start again.

A man carves a little wooden boy from a garden root and presents it to his wife. The couple love Little Otik and Little Otik loves them. What he wants, most of all though, is to be a real boy. Now although he tries to be good, he is led astray and gets into oh so much trouble! Will Little Otik, with a song in his heart and his conscience by his side, set things right and get back to his family and become a real boy? I guess you’ll have to watch to find out.

There! That’s better.

Of course, I’m sure you’re going to follow the link above to the IMDB site and find out what this movie is really about (I’m just exhibiting a psychological block about it). Now I can’t say for sure, but I betting that many of you will not like this film. You will be disturbed by it, or afraid to be alone, or of gardens, but if you give it a chance, you will have a truly “unique” cinematic experience. But for my part, here is a short list of truly disturbing images that I won’t soon forget.

1. fertility images: In the beginning of the film, the husband sees (imagines) images representing fertility – these are extreme like you wouldn’t believe.
2. Little Otik, feeding at the breast.
3. Little Otik feeding, period.
4. More Little Otik feeding. He does a lot of feeding in this movie.
5. Little Otik crying. Don’t you just hate seeing babies cry?
6. The neighbors cooking. I almost think this is the most disturbing of all.
7. The dirty old man. Such a vivid stereotype, you don’t often see in movies anymore.
8. I’m a parent and I know first-hand that children can drive you crazy. They are demanding and they sometimes misbehave, but you love them anyway, you have to, though it can be very stressful at times. I’m going to sleep with one eye open from now on.
9. Not-so-Little Otik feeding. Kids eat – what can I say?
10. That I watched it a second time – makes me wonder about myself.

If I'm giving you the impression that this is a grizzly horror film, I’m sorry. That’s incorrect. It’s a family movie with some dark humor. Really.

Warning: Not for very young children. It’s unrated. There isn’t any sex or nudity or profanity, but it is strange and weird, and can be scary, so be warned!

Enjoy.

HAROLD AND MAUDE

Romance of the week:
HAROLD AND MAUDE

The term "quirky" must have been created to describe this film. This romance, between the most mismatched couple in film history, is both warm and touching and just a little creepy.

Harold is an anti-establishment teenager (even if he doesn’t realize it yet), living in a decided pro-establishment family. His parents don’t understand him, and to get attention, stages his own suicide, over and over again, in sometimes very elaborate ways. He is fascinated by death. He would actually go through with the suicide except that he’s too busy being fascinated by it. I mean, he goes to funerals – even people he doesn’t know. That’s where he meets Maude.

Maude is also fascinated by death, but for a different reason. She 80 years old, and as such, death looms over her head. They meet, they connect, and thus begins a deep friendship the likes of which Harold has never experienced.

There are lots of very funny scenes, you know – the usual stuff. She teaches him that life is worth living, and he teaches her that life still hold some surprises. Like I said – the usual stuff. This film was released in 1971 - right smack dab in the hippie era. The movie does have an anti-establishment feel to it (although that’s not the main message of the film), and it has a sort of flower-child innocence to it, which has a tendency to impart to its viewer, a warm fuzzy feeling.

Although the movie wasn’t a huge success (it wasn’t a major Hollywood studio release), it played the college and art house theaters for years and achieved cult status. When it was released on video, it enjoyed even more success as regular viewers would buy or rent the movie to watch year after year (a common Valentine’s Day tradition). The movie is funny, but the humor is tongue-in-cheek or deadpan and was undoubtedly a later influence to the Coen Brothers, whose Raising Arizona and O Brother, Where Art Thou have a similar deadpan humor.

It scores a 90% on the tomatometer. Here’re some reasons why YOU might like this film.

1. You’re probably thinking, “He’s a teenager (18? 19? Maybe 20?), and she’s 80. EEEYYYEWW!” I assure you that it’s not what you think. It’s all tasteful and appropriate, with a very low “yyyuck” factor. …. A reasonably low yyyuck factor. Not as high a yyyuck factor as there could be. Maybe slight yyyuck, but tolerable. I'll stop here.
2. It’s all warm and life-affirming and stuff, and will make you feel good. It won’t make you feel, at all, like throwing up – and that’s a good thing.
3. Did I mention that it was funny? Funny and sad – but mostly funny.
4. It espouses positive social values, like: sticking it to the Man; stealing cars; and flippin’ off the cops. Maude’s 80, so it’s socially acceptable.
5. Maude’s 80 – how long can she live. Harold will be out chasing more age-appropriate girls (maybe only twice his age) in no time.
6. This really pisses off Harold’s parents. I don’t understand their problem. I mean, it’s not like he’s likely to knock her up or anything.
7. Ruth Gordon (Maude) is one cool old lady.
8. The director, Hal Ashby, is no slouch. He also directed such classics as The Last Detail, Coming Home, and Being There which I’ve recommended in the past.
9. You have to wonder if he’s planning to take her to the prom.
10. Oh! You young couples are soooooo cute together!

Valentine’s Day is coming soon.
Enjoy.

SNAKES ON A PLANE - update

Update: SNAKES ON A PLANE

I have, on several occasions, made reference to this movie. The audacity to call it "Snakes on a Plane"! What a brilliant marketing ploy! I have to give the producers credit for that.

In the interest of fairness, you should know that besides all the great movies that I recommend here, I also watch a lot of crap. Why? Because you never can judge a film until you've watched it. It's that whole - don't judge a book by its cover - thing. Last night I got around to watching SNAKES ON A PLANE on DVD and I'm here to report. Here are my observations.

1. It is INDEED about snakes on a plane.
2. That's pretty much all you need to know.

The film has all the requisite formula elements of the genre.

• Create a mission (a man who witnessed a murder must get to LA to testify against the mob boss).
  
• Establish the monster (a whole lot of venomous snakes).
  
• Somehow make them more dangerous (the bad guys distribute snake pheremones in the plane which make the snakes "hyper" aggressive - not "super" aggressive, that's not aggressive enough - no, they become "hyper aggressive).
  
• Trap them together (they're on a plane over open ocean - they can't land).
  
• Mayhem.
• A whole plethora of characters that you get to guess who is going to die, and in what order, and who will survive.
  
• Create even more suspense (who is going to land the plane?).
  
• Just when you think it's over, it's not.
  

I'm reminded of the movie Anaconda, also with a snake. I think that SNAKES ON A PLANE (SOAP) tried to copy that film (the working title during filming was "Anaconda 3" - I didn't realize they had made a "2"). But Anaconda was so bad (I would like to think - intentionally) that it was funny. SOAP, although it has its moments, is just not bad enough to be funny, and it's not good enough to be scary. There are just too many more better films to watch (or badder, funnier films) to waste time on this one. Life's short!

Conclusion: Sometimes you CAN judge a book by its cover.

KUNG-FU HUSTLE

Movie of the week:
KUNG-FU HUSTLE

It’s a martial arts-30’s-gangster-action-comedy!

The insane lunatics that brought you Shaolin Soccer are back with a bigger, better, badder epic. This film is at least as fun and enjoyable but also benefits from a bigger budget and better writing. Mostly the same cast is back, but the characters and story are different (No soccer!). Writer-director-actor Stephen Chow is the Hong Kong answer to Jim Carey. Like many of his previous films, this one mixes comedy and parody with the artistry of martial arts – but on crack.

Sing, a wannabe gangster, dreams of joining the notorious Axe Gang (I wonder what they’re all about). Then, he figures, he’d finally get some respect. But it’s not that easy. He must first prove his worthiness to the ruthless gang leader. However, when he tries to lean on some of the locals in a small neighborhood, he finds that some of them may be more than they seem. In fact, everybody seems to be more than they seem. In fact (again), he himself may be more than he seems. In fact, he seems to be the only clueless character in this whole movie.

The gestalt of the film is a mixture of gravity defying martial arts sequences, physics defying action scenes, prohibition-era mob confrontations, cartoon looniness, and tender romance. (Just kidding about the romance.) Just as in Shaolin Soccer, each kung-fu scene is designed to out-do the previous one. Each one gets progressively crazier, with exaggerated stunts that can only be realized with the help of CGI. Each scene will make you laugh harder than the one before.

Although Chow’s film style is very original (you won’t find any other movies like it), he does occasionally make references to, what I can only guess, are his favorite movies, actors, and directors. Here’s a short list of the ones that I noticed.

1. Every Bruce Lee movie.
2. Quentin Tarantino – I know you probably think I’m referring to Kill Bill, or even Kill Bill, vol. 2, but no! That would be too obvious. What I’m referring to is Reservoir Dogs (…… and of course to Kill Bill and Kill Bill, vol. 2).
3. Gangs of New York – that whole gang thing. Much more so than, say West Side Story (no singing, no Leonard Bernstein soundtrack, and no dancing – well, at least not much dancing – OK, some dancing. But no singing and no Leonard Bernstein soundtrack. Well, not much singing …. ).
4. Road runner cartoons. Yeah, that’s right, I said road runner cartoons.
5. The Matrix Reloaded – especially the fight sequences. However, these two movies came out at about the same time so it’s hard to say which came first.
6. Scarface – the Al Capone movie, not the Al Pacino one. Anything with Tommy guns – why did they call them “Tommy” guns? Why do they give weapons names anyway? – like Tommy guns, Billy clubs, Sherman tanks, and Bobby pins (OK – so I’m reaching here).
7. Chow Yun-Fat movies, like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon – except for all that mucking around in the trees …… and the whole romance sub-plot …… and the whole revenge sub-plot ……. and the sad and enigmatic ending. But the rest of it – definitely!

Warning: Shaolin Soccer was totally a family comedy. KUNG-FU HUSTLE is also a family-friendly action comedy. However there is one rather violent scene right at the beginning of the film that may be inappropriate for very young children. It’s certainly not as violent as other films that kids watch (like Star Wars or the Indiana Jones films, and lots of others), but if you’re worried about it, don’t bring the kids in until about 10 minutes into the movie. They just use that scene, as in many such movies, to establish in no uncertain terms, who the bad guy is, and just how bad he is. It says, “Yeah, he’s bad. He’ll get his in the end – but in the meantime – watch out!”

Note: The film is in Chinese (Mandrin and Cantonese) with subtitles in various languages. In addition, the US release of this DVD has an English language soundtrack as an option so that you don't have to read subtitles if you don't want to.

BTW: It scores a 90% on the tomatometer! Check it out - lots of good reviews and comments there.

Enjoy.

A SCANNER DARKLY

Movie of the week:
A SCANNER DARKLY

Writer, Philip K. Dick, in his later years, suffered from paranoia and (perhaps) a touch of schizophrenia, most likely brought on by continued drug abuse. These themes permeated his writings in such stories as “VALIS”, “Martian Time Slip”, and the basis for this week’s movie, “A Scanner Darkly”. A common theme is a main character who discovers that his reality is an illusion which peels away layer by layer (e.g. “We Can Remember That For You Wholesale” – which was made into the film Total Recall).

This adaptation is very faithful to the book. Those of you who’ve read the book are probably wondering how the hell that is possible, and then thinking that this film must be very hard to follow. And to that I say, “What’s to follow? Just roll with it.” Now, this movie could have ended up a mess of wandering dialog and random disjointed scenes with no structure and an unfathomable plot, except that the film-maker, Richard Linklater, made a number of smart creative decisions.

One, he decided not to mess with the script – in other words, let the book stand on its own. The film follows the book’s plot and dialog very closely. This includes the characters’ drug induced paranoia, their sometimes drug induced attempts at conversation, based on drug induced logic (or lack thereof), and the characters’ sometimes uncertainty about what is real and what is drug induced. This decision could have been a big mistake, except for number two.

Two, he chose a perfect cast. Keanu Reeves as Robert Arctor, the drug addicted narc. He can exude a perfect befuddled persona (reminiscent of his Bill & Ted roll). Robert Downey Jr. is the know-it-all Barris who, if he wasn’t strung out on drugs, would be dangerous. Woody Harrelson is the good-hearted, but not too smart druggie, Luckman. And Winona Ryder as Donna, sometimes drug dealer and sometimes Arctor’s girl, or at least he’d like to think so. They’re all convincing stoners, every last one of them, yet in spite of that, they have the most amazing conversations. They’re totally whack, but they're amazing. Like WC Fields, Peter O’Toole, and Dudley Moore who can portray such classic drunkards, this cast plays captivating stoners. Still – this could have reverted to standard stoner movie fare, except for number three.

Three, Linklater uses a roto-scope process. This is a technique whereby animators draw over live action footage – frame by frame. It’s a painstaking process but the result is a startlingly eerie atmosphere. The characters look exactly like their real-life counterparts, but the film-maker can add or distort reality to his whim. Linklater uses this freedom to visually depict the hallucinatory ever-shifting reality the characters habituate. Roto-scoping has been used in the past – even Richard Linklater used it in his 2001 film Waking Life. However, here, the effect is used to enhance the narrative, not just as a cool effect.

A SCANNER DARKLY is worth noting for these reasons.

1. Philip K Dick based this story on his own drug experiences. Dude – how did he ever survive? I believe that the Robert Downey Jr. character was really Dick.
2. Is it animated or is it live action? You can think about that for a long time - in a drug induced state.
3. It’s really good.
4. Good sci-fi is hard to come by these days. You can throw a ton of money at a project and end up with a piece of crap like The Island, or you can concentrate on compelling ideas and expend your energies telling a good story.
5. Richard Linklater has an impressive portfolio which includes Slacker, Dazed and Confused, and The School of Rock, as well as some of my past recommendations such as the romance films Before Sunset and Before Sunrise.
6. Keanu Reeves plays an undercover narcotics agent who is so deep under cover that not even his superiors know his identity. Not even he’s sure of his identity. This is pure PK Dick.
7. Half the world seems to be addicted to the drug known as “substance-D”. Who is supplying it – that’s the question. Is there a huge conspiracy? It may be the government. It may be Martha Stewart – who knows? Nobody knows. In fact, nobody knows what they don’t know. This is also typical PK Dick.
8. The “Scramble Suit” concept is freaky. Roto-scope is probably the only way it could have been depicted. Still if you look at it too long, you'll go nuts.
9. This is a funny movie – when it’s not being dark and ominous and creepy.
10. It’s fun to watch people when they’re out of their minds.

Drop a few Tabs (the diet soft drink – not drugs) and watch A SCANNER DARKLY.

Enjoy.

SHAOLIN SOCCER

Comedy of the week:
SHAOLIN SOCCER

There was a time, not too long ago, when I got all my movies from the local video rental store in my town. And even now that I've found alternative sources (e.g. Netflix, local library, etc.), I still regularly check in there for immediate gratification. I usually don’t get there on weekdays until evenings after work (7 PM or later). Now, as most of you know, when you get there that late, it’s slim pickin’s. What’re left on the ‘new release’ shelves are movies that nobody wants or (and this is vital) nobody’s heard of. When people ask me where I find these movies that they’ve never heard of – this is where it started.

I can still remember the evening when I went down to the video store looking for – I can’t remember what – and ended picking up SHAOLIN SOCCER. I remember reading the little blurb on the back of the box and thinking, “I’m probably going to end up watching this by myself. It sounds really whacky, and I’m the only one willing to sit through something like this.” I indeed watched it myself, and when I got to the end, I immediately realized that I was wrong. There isn’t anybody whom this movie wouldn’t appeal to. Since then I’ve been showing this film to everybody I can, and so far, no negative reviews. After all, who wouldn’t warm up to an insane goofy martial arts sports comedy?

If you think about all the sports movies that you've ever seen, you can probably count the good ones with the fingers of one hand - a shop teacher's hand. Why is that? It’s because they’re all the same story. A bunch of losers come from behind to rally together to make the team succeed. They make it all the way to the championship game, where they come up against their greatest rivals. It all comes down to the final few seconds where they finally pull it off and win. Cue the crowd, everybody goes wild. The end.

“So, Frank, here’s where you tell us that SHAOLIN SOCCER has a very different and unique story line.” Sorry, SHAOLIN SOCCER is exactly the same story – overall. A bunch of losers come from behind to rally together to make the team succeed. They make it all the way to the championship game, where they come up against their greatest rivals. It all comes down to the final few seconds. However, it’s the details that are unique. This is a film that, if you read the synopsis, you might decide that it's just too strange or unusual or silly to watch. But, what the hell?

Here is a family film, so filled to the brim with insane goofiness that you'll immediately want to see it again. A group of former students of a Shaolin temple, unsure about what to do with their lives, decide to reunite to form a soccer team, using their kung-fu training to good advantage. Their coach is a former soccer legend, known as “Golden Leg”. All progresses well – but Golden Leg’s former rival is training a super kung-fu soccer team of his own (called – “Team Evil” of all things). They all meet in the championship game for the final confrontation. Cue the crowd, everybody goes wild.

I understand that originally, there were no plans to release this film in the USA. However, through word of mouth and numerous downloads, the movie attained cult status and so the distributors rushed to correct their mistake.

Here’s some reasons why you may want to see this movie.

1. This was the most successful Hong Kong-made movie ever in Hong Kong.
2. It’s a spectacular epic story, with spectacular special effects, and spectacular choreography, coupled with a warm and funny narrative.
3. Not only is it suitable for the entire family, you will want the family to see it.
4. It’s in Chinese with sub-titles in various languages. Moreover, the DVD released in the US features an English language soundtrack – meaning you can watch it without subtitles.
5. One of the charms of the great martial arts movies is the abundance of totally outrageous moves and stunts that defy gravity – and several of the other laws of physics. That also contributes to the charm of this film.
6. If this film took itself seriously for one instant, it would fall flat and look silly. It doesn’t – not even for an instant.
7. If you take all your favorite martial arts movie stars: Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Yun-Fat Chow, and maybe Tony Leung Chiu Wai (not so much a kung-fu movie star as he is a great movie star – besides, he was just so good in Infernal Affairs), and then maybe throw in Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. Then get them all hopped up on laughing gas, then you’ll get the idea of the scope of this movie.
8. The tern “lunatics” will come to mind, I am sure.
9. They say that laughter is the best medicine. Watch this film before you need a prescription to rent it.
10. Despite what I said above about it following the old worn-out plot formula, this film is completely original.

Usually, once the end credits roll, that’s a cue to stop the tape or disc (I, myself, am often guilty of this). Watch the credits at the end of the movie. There are some clips that play through the credits that are very funny – they are meant to mirror the opening scene, but with some differences. As I mentioned, this is one funny funny movie. Rent it and watch it with your whole family.

Enjoy.

BEST OF 2006

**** BEST OF 2006 *****

This is the second year for my “Best Of” year-end review. I hope I’m getting better at it. Counting them up, I saw a total of 205 films last year. If anybody has a idea of how I can better spend my time, I will entertain all suggestions.

FISRT: the disclaimers.

• These are not necessarily movies that came out in 2006; they are just movies that I saw in 2006.
• I am not saying that these are the absolute best movies; they are just ones that I liked the best.
• If you see a movie here that I didn’t feature on my blog, it's probably in my "waiting to be recommended" list.
• I haven't seen every movie - so if I don't mention your favorite movie in this list, it probably just means that I haven't seen it yet.................................. or that it just sucked.
• I tried to be really thorough and do a TOP-10 list, but I quit after 5. So that's it - you get 5. Plus some special prizes - just like in Cannes (I've never actually been to Cannes, so I'm just guessing).
• For the most part, I'm avoiding the wide release movies. Everybody already knows about these.
• The movies below were ranked by awarding "Frank Points" to each one. After the rating process, The Frank Points were tallied up and the films placed in the proper order. The criteria for which Frank Points are awarded, is confidential and is only known to Frank - sorry.
• That's it!

SECOND: the movies.

1. A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT: (French) Set in France during World War I, a young woman moves heaven and earth to find out what happened to her fiancée, amid conflicting reports. Features a terrific performance by Audrey Tautou (Amelie, DaVinci Code). The battle scenes may be a bit gritty, but it is one of the most uplifting movies I saw last year. And yes, that is Jodie Foster!
2. FITZCARRALDO: (German) (This and the film above are very close – I went in alphabetical order.) This is one of the all time classic movies among film buffs. It’s an epic tale of a man on a quest (elements of “Don Quiote”). He wants to build a grand opera house deep in the Amazon jungle. If you think his idea is crazy, his scheme for carrying it out is even crazier. I can’t tell you much more than this. I can safely say that it will NOT be a waste of time. The legends associated with the making of this film are as amazing as the hero’s quest in the movie.
3. THE CONSTANT GARDENER: (English) Love, danger, political intrigue, Rachel Weisz – this film has it all. The aims are cut and dried and yet nothing is as it seems. In the center of it all is Justin Quayle, played by Ralph Fiennes, who has to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Does he love his wife enough to trust her? Can he solve the mystery before he is killed?
4. ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL: (German) One of the most unorthodox and heartwarming romances since Harold and Maude. A very proper white German widow in her 60’s, befriends and then maries a black Moroccan man, 20 years younger. The differences in age, race, and ethnicity wreck havoc throughout their family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Can love survive?
5. INFERNAL AFFAIRS: (Cantonese) The original Chinese version that was later made into The Departed, is still the best. This is s good old-fashioned edge-of-your-seat suspense thriller. The mob has a mole in the police department. The police have a mole in the mob. They each know the existence of the other, but they don’t know their identity. They must each find out who their counterpart is before they themselves are found out, or surely they will be killed.

THIRD: The extras.

HONORABLE MENTION: (no particular order)
Nine Lives: Nine scenes from the lives of nine women.
Last Life in the Universe: Love sure beats killing yourself.
Delicatessen: Love blooms in a strange alternate world.
The Straight Story: Probably the most accessible of all David Lynch movies, a dying man goes on a long journey to visit his estranged brother.
A Scanner Darkly: Based on a novel by Philip K. Dick and filmed in Rotoscope.

FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:
CLERKS II: Kevin Smith & Co. have had 12 years since the original CLERKS to come up with material more profane, more offensive, and more disturbed (this = funny). They did!

Runner up: THE 40YEAR OLD VIRGIN

FAMILY MOVIE OF THE YEAR
MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO: A real workout for the old imagination, as two sisters discover and befriend the woodland spirits near their new house.

ROMANCE MOVIE OF THE YEAR
IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE: Kar Wai Wong’s romantic masterpiece about neighbors whose spouses are having an affair with each other. They find comfort in each other’s friendship, and although they eventually fall in love, vow not to become like their spouses.

Runner up: THE GIRL IN THE CAFE

SCI-FI/FANTASY MOVIE OF THE YEAR
A SCANNER DARKLY: Reality is bent in the drug war world of deceptions and double deceptions. Features a unique visual style, and the same sort of uncertainty you've seen in other Philip K. Dick based films, such as Total Recall, Blade Runner, and Minority Report.

Runner up: MIRRORMASK

STRANGEST DAMN MOVIE OF THE YEAR
UN CHIEN ANDALOU: If you want, with all certainty, to make one damn strange movie, who do you get? You get two of the weirdest dudes in history, Luis Buñuel (the father of cinematic Surrealism and one of the most original directors in the history of film) and the weirdmeister himself, Salvador Dali. 16 minutes of whatever images come to mind. Released in 1929, but I didn’t see it until this past year. Seems I’m getting a little behind in my viewing.

Very close runner up:
COWARDS BEND THE KNEE: I swear that director, Guy Madden, studied from the David Lynch school of film-making. Here’s the plot: In a haunted hockey rink, a has-been player discovers a forgotten wax museum where the ghosts of dead lovers stroll. Throw in a hair salon where a demented doctor, wearing a corset performs abortions. Plus it’s a silent movie and photographed to look like old film.

HIGH MARKS FOR STYLE;
BRICK: Hard boiled high school student tries to solve the hard boiled mystery of who killed his hard-boiled girlfriend in such a hard-boiled manner.

DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR
No Direction Home: Bob Dylan: Finally, the veil falls from the iconic singer-songwriter. If you missed this 3 ½ -hour documentary when it aired on PBS, this past year, you can now catch it on DVD.

Runner up:
TRISTRAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY: Even though it’s a faux documentary, or maybe because of it, this is one you shouldn’t miss.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: Can somebody please tell me what was the big deal about this film? After all the hype, I expected much better.

WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:
INSPIRACION: I don’t even want to talk about it.

IL POSTINO

Movie of the week:
IL POSTINO

When you hear of stories of people who make great sacrifices for art's sake, you should think of this film.

Mario has just been made postman of his village on a small Mediterranean island near Italy. He’s been made postman because he’s one of only a handful of people who can actually read and write, on the island. The postman’s not very busy. People who don’t read or write usually don’t send or receive much mail. In fact, other than work-eat-sleep, the village folk don’t do much of anything. There's not much to talk about as nothing much ever happens. Change is virtually non-existent, and there's not much ever to look forward to. It’s like the town that time forgot. All that changes, at least for Mario, when for a short time, the great Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda, comes in exile, to live on the island.

Neruda receives and sends mail all the time, and so Mario is always going out to his place to deliver. The two men begin a friendship. Mario's mind is opened by the older man’s writings, and he asks him to help him write poems of his own so that he can woo the beautiful Beatrice. He teaches him the beauty, rhythm, and power of words. Once his mind is opened as pertains to love, he is able to woo her – but his mind doesn’t stop there. There is no end to great causes for one to be passionate about.

This film is about change and about growth. It’s a feel-good movie that reinforces positive social values. You just can’t help but to root for the low man. In its quiet and beautiful way, it teaches us that a lot of the old adages are true. The pen IS mightier than the sword. Love IS the greatest motivation. One man CAN change the world.

Filmed on location off the coast of Italy, it’s in Italian with various appropriate subtitles. If you allow an aversion to subtitles to prevent you from watching it, you will have missed one of the most beautifully themed and filmed movies of the past umpteen years. It scored a 92% on the tomatometer, and was nominated for numerous Academy Awards, including the major ones: Best Actor, Best Director, Best Picture, and Best Screenplay.

In the first sentence, I mentioned something about “sacrifice”. Massimo Troisi, an Italian actor-director, who co-wrote the screenplay for this film, and who plays the main character, Mario – postponed heart surgery in order to insure completion of this movie. He was aware of his condition and knew he needed treatment, but decided that it was more important to finish the film first. Literally 12 hours after the cameras stopped rolling, he suffered a fatal heart attack and died. I suspect that he only lasted as long as he did through sheer act of will, refusing death until the project was finished. This sounds to me like a movie plot of its own.

Enjoy.